My Buenos Dias Playlist

These days my life is sort of bleak. I haven’t woke up in the morning since Saturday, when I woke up about eleven. I got in a landmark fight with my boyfriend, one of those fight that the two of us will forever and ever amen refer to when we bring up when we fight later on, or talk about breaking up and/or staying together. I’m not going to write about it because a) It’s no one’s real business and my blog is kind of public and b) I don’t want to dwell on the negative. But it’s one of those things thats always been a challenge in our relationship, and something I suspected would be an issue from the very beginning anyway, before we dated. But nonetheless, it shook me. It scared me. It made me sad 😦

So I slept for more or less three days. Today is the first morning I’ve seen in a while. And being the anxiety prone broad I am, I wake up nervous as shit,  something only coffee, some nourishment, plenty water, and some good ass music can cure. So I’m sharing my playlist with my followers or who ever stumbles on this blog from clicking links on Google about my dead cousins or god knows where else. I thought some positivity is called for, when it’s so dim, blank, lame and Ohio-y outside and inside of me today. The music is helping though.

It’s a mix of bubble-gum early 00’s, late 90’s pop, rap songs whose general themes are “Fuck the haters” or a combination of “I used to be shit, now I’m the shit, so fuck the haters”…. So basically, Drake? Along with recent good stuff that’s on the radio, and the ever so existentialistic Stacie Orrco’s “There’s Gotta Be More Than Life” and the only gospel song even located on my Spotify account, because it was my cousin Heather’s favorite song. She played it every morning with the kids, and whenever shit starts getting emo, Harmony puts it on. They played it at the funeral just as I reached the coffin and viewed the body and the words just hit me so hard, I felt like I might fall on the floor and literally dissolve. I start crying and I never stopped. And last week, I was sitting in Harmony’s room with Heiress and Jermaine and Harmony’s boyfriend and Harmony started feelings sad.

“Man, I feel sad, y’all” and so she puts it on, and Heiress and her boyfriend start clowning and dancing, and Jermaine, who’s four, starts just smiling and singing, and knew every word. And they all look just like her, laughing and smiling, because I hadn’t seen her not smiling in years. And I smiled, and it was encouraging to me like nothing else in the world.

So enough, with the sob story, because now I’m on the verge of tear again.

1) I Smile – Kirk Franklin
2) Replay – Zendaya
3) This Is Me – Camp Rock Cast (Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas)
4) Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe – Kendrick Lamar
5) m.A.A.d city – Kenderick Lamar
6) She’s No You = Jesse McCartney
7) Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney
8) I’m Real (J.Lo Cover) – The Starting Line
9) Safe and Sound – Capitol Cities
10) Dark Horse – Katy Perry
11) Stay The Night – Zedd + Hayley Willliams
12) All NIght – Icona Pop
13) Alone Together – Fall Out Boy
14) Rat A Tat – Fall Out Boy (*This is truly only because of the “It’s Kourtney bitch!” in the beginning)
15) No New Friends (SFTB Remix) – DJ Khaled, Drake, Etc.
16) Pour It Up – Rihanna
17) Work – Iggy Azalea
18) 212 – Azalea Banks
19) The Boy – NIcki Minaj + Cassie
20) You Know How I Do – Taking Back Sunday
21) Video Killed the Radio Star – The Buggles
22) Check It Out – Nicki Minaj + William (Conversely known as will.i.am)
23) Your Love Is My Drug – Ke$ha
24) Maria, Maria – Santana + The Product G&B
25) California Love – Tupac
26) Hail Mary – Tupac
27) Treasure – Bruno Mars
28) All Star – Smash Mouth
29) One Week – Barenaked Ladies
30)  Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind
31) Rebirthing – Skillet
32) Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin – Journey
33) Mine (Taylor Swift Cover) – Glee Cast (Naya Rivera)
34) Constant Craving (k.d. lang cover) – (Glee Cast) Naya Rivera, Gwenyth Paltrow, Lea Michelle and Chris Colfer
35) Shake It Off – Mariah Carey
36) Come On Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners
37) Always Be My Baby – Mariah Carey
38) Started From The Bottom – Drake
39) Fancy – Drake + T.I. + MAry J. Blige (Unfortunately)
40) Alpha Dog – Fall Out Boy
41) The Furthest Thing – Drake
42) Worst Behavior – Drake
43) There’s Gotta Be More to Life – Stacie Orrico
44) Leave (Get Out) – Jojo
45) Space Cowboys – N’SYNC
46)Blood On The Leaves – Kanye West
47)Power – Kanye West
48) H.A.M – Kanye West
49) Kemosabe – Everything Everything
50) Cough Cough – Everything Everything
51) School Spirit – Kanye West
52) 22 – Taylor Swift
53) Valerie – Glee Cast (Naya Rivera)
54) I Bet You Look On THe Dancefloor – Artic Monkey
55) Stupid Hoe – NIcki Minaj
56) Clarity – Zedd + Foxes
57) Still Fly (Cover) – The Devil Wear Prada
58) To Trixie and Reptile, Thanks for Everything – Chiodos
59) There’s No Penguins in Alaska – Chiodos
60) Down – Jay Sean + Lil’ Wayne
61) Mercy – GOOD Music
62) No Letting – Wayne Wonder
63) Kids – MGMT
64) Cudi The Kid – Steve Aoki + KId Cudi
65) The Motto – Drake + Lil’

This is the list so far, but it’s ever being updated. Besides I think sixty five is quite enough to read. If you have a suggestion on any fun, I can do anything songs, or just something I can belt along to while thinking “I should take singing lessons” right before I’m hilarious out of tune, let me know. Leave it in the comments.

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